PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dear god my vagina.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
