Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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