we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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