ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
