i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
