you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
