Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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