The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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