Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
