I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
