Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
