Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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