dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
