Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
