He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
