Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There are leaves in my underwear?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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