operation harelip BJ is a go
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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