Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
