Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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