the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
