I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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