dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
