dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
