she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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