Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
