Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i think i just lost a toe
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
