I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize