He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
