May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
