what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
