Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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