wakey wakey hands off snakey
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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