And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
