never play flip cup with pint glasses
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm both gender and math confused
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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