Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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