Christians are straight up FREAKS
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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