Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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