I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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