Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pants are for mortals
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
