they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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