How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
