So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just high enough for therapy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
