she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
