You're a womanizer and a bitch.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
