Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
