Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
