6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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