I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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