What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
