Please, let me fuck your mom
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
