Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
