Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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