Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
