THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
