it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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