porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
