Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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