I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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