My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
