The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just forgot I was standing up.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize