My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drake has all the answers
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
