drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize