Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
