Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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