I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
