there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
