I must be too annoying 4 u.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize