The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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