I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
