we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
this is an emotional support booty call
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
