It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
