Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
