He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
