babies were throwing up all over the place
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
