I love black thongs
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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