Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
In America we eat man semen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
